It seems that we get sidetracked in practice in many
ways. Buddha said that he was the
“awakened one”. Thich Nhat Hanh
calls it mindfulness in every moment.
Katagiri-roshi explains that enlightenment is subject and object merged
in every moment that arises. It is
a very rare and concentrated person who is able to say that they meet every
moment as it is.
We know only too well about being sidetracked by our personal
stories, our circular compulsive thinking and our distractions. The ancestors have called this “living
in a dream.” This dream is
solidified by our mind of thinking, and then we make our conceptions solid and stand behind our assumptions and stories.
One of our practices is to find the mind that is "non-thinking" (Dogen) and we do this through zazen and concentration. Letting our thoughts go, opening the
hand of thought as each thought arises, and resting in open, spacious, sky
mind. Here is where subtle
sidetracking may begin. We begin
to think that enlightenment is the achievement of a certain state of mind like silence
or subtle energy raptures or serenity and happiness and then we begin to cling
to those states. It is possible to
use practice to hold onto states and our “idea” of enlightenment, which is actually in the opposite direction to ever-present awareness or
the “awakened one”. These attachments cloud the mind.
The Tibetan practice has identified three special
states which I'm learning from the Mahamudra teacher Dan Brown:
Bliss - pleasant feeling, rapture and thrills
Luminosity – everything is light, perceptual
Non-conceptual stillness – profound stillness
It’s odd to think of these amazing states as distractions. They
are the passing scenery of concentration but very often meditators get attached
to them. We attach to them by
first wanting to have these experiences as a future accomplishment. Or if we are lucky to have a subtle
experience, then we want to hold onto that experience and we manipulate to try
to repeat it. This conceptualizing
about the subtle experiences detracts us from the aliveness that is happening
right now. These “states”
can’t be used as markers of progress.
The attachment to them actually clouds our minds. Enlightenment is a
moving target of moment after moment.
If we do not become
attached to the states of mind that we prefer, we can begin to see all
phenomena as empty, larger then self, and interconnected with everything. Then
there are no clouds.
We can aspire to what is called “automatic emptiness”. Each moment, phenomena, state, emotion
or thought arises quickly in the present moment and then dissolves. Our practice is to be right with each
moment regardless of its content. We notice the moment’s birthing and notice that
it is an expression of emptiness immediately and simultaneously.
Even the tendency to conceptualize is already expressed as
emptiness. This will leave our
minds soft and buoyant, clear and not fixated on anything.
Dogen writes in Bendowa:
endeavor of the way I am speaking of, allows all things to come forth in
enlightenment and practice, all-inclusiveness with detachment.
There are those who
realize the way on hearing the sound of bamboo being struck, or who understood
the mind seeing the color of blossoms.
Of those who understand the way upon seeing a form, or who realize the
way upon hearing a sound, they do not have any intellectual thinking regarding the
endeavor of the way, or have any self besides their original self.
spreading the way of buddha ancestors does not necessarily depend upon place or
circumstances. Just think that
today is the beginning.
Labels: attachments, Awakening, concentration, distractions, Dogen, emptiness, enlightenment, special states